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Being Present

Pandy

 

I was 2 years living in Seattle at that time in a little apartment.There was  a dimly lit hallway and my Aunt Pandy  would put these glowing plastic teeth in her mouth and act as if she were a creature come to playfully tickle and chew me up! It  made laugh that laugh when you just can’t stand it any longer and I would then ask for more.

 

My family moved when  I was around 4 or 5 and Pandy was with us.  I noticed how beautiful Pandy  was with her silky smooth long hair and big brown eyes that always reminded me of Diana Ross. She always spunky sporting this long pony tail. She would always sing to the commercials and TV shows especially the Jefferson’s “ Well we’re moving on up to the East side….we finally got a piece of the PIEEEE IEEEEE!!”

 

At around 8 or 9 years old  Pandy told me she had to leave and she did not know when she was going to be back.  I was devastated. I saw Pandy again about 1 or 2 years later and this time she came back pregnant. I was a little jealous yet Pandy included me in the process of her pregnancy and it turned to joy when I saw the most beautiful baby girl born that she named Tiana.

 

Many years passed and as I got older I lost touch with Pandy. It was not until  2011 on Thanksgiving that I saw Pandy again and as it turns out it  would not be until Thursday November 20th   2014 that I would see Pandy for the last time. Pandy called out my sisters name and then mine as we walked into the  hospital room where she was being cared for. I was filled with so many different levels of emotion that it took my breath away.

 

I looked at Pandy deep into her eyes to communicate as she was not able to really make out  coherent sound any longer. As I looked at her I  communicated  my love with gentle touches and the stroking of her hair. As  I looked at her, I could feel her love for me and I knew she could feel my love for her.  It was time to leave and I looked at Pandy and then kissed her forehead as I  bent down to her ear softly   saying, “ I LOVE YOU Pandy” Her eyes got real big and she looked over to me and I to her.

 

As  I walked to the foot of the bed she did not move her eyes away from me and stared deeply in an exchange that I can not adequately describe and was in this moment  that I knew that Pandy was moving on to the next phase of being and transitioning  from this reality to another one.

 

What I realized  from this experience is that what we all want is to be seen, to be heard, to be touched and in that we feel and experience Love. Any guilt and judgment I had towards myself about not seeing Pandy for many years vanishes from the knowing  that Pandy and I were present with each other, we were in the same thought and heart together in that present moment.

 

The next time you talk to someone, actually be present with them. When you look into their eyes, see them,nhear them and in that you will begin to know that when you do you are sharing Love in that very  moment. As we continue to be more and more present with others, we will begin to know the truth, that we are Love itself seeking expression in this very present moment in time we call the earth.

 

Michkael Baker

Nephew of Pandora Jackson

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